I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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