I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
two words: eviction party
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
