This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize