I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
