Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
