i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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