I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
