its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
