If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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