Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
