Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
