last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize