whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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