Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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