Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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