i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
