I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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