Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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