he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
