We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
