Sponge bath it is.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
