suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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