Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
