OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
