$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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