Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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