yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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