I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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