Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
