I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
