Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
