Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I cannot find my penis.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
