My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
