How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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