she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
