I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
