He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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