my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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