someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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