I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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