My underwear smells like fireworks.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
