i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
