Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
