we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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