I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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