The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
