He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
