my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
