She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
