Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
