I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
