you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Randomize
