omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
