What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
