:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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