Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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