That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
