So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
