I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
