Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Randomize
