remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
