Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
