Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
