Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Randomize
