is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
