Bisexual people are plain selfish.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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