i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
