maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
