the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
