It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
