You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
